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Ode to my Cool Disorder

from Chest of Drawers (EP) by Dylan MacWilliams

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about

written january 2017
recorded april 6, 2017
saint paul, mn

lyrics

Needing to do everything twice takes a lot of time
Needing to do everything right takes up a lot of time

I try to perfectly articulate what can’t be said
and somehow exist symetrically and carefully take even steps

but I always fail at impossible tasks
I set myself up and expect it to feel bad, and it feels bad, feels fucking bad

I want things to seem purposeful although they almost never are
and now I can’t convince myself it’s okay even when I play guitar

I’ll start to write a song and suddenly the motivation leaves
but meaningless regrets get stuck on repeat on repeat (on repeat)

and nothing is complete and nothing will be done
I’ll die and all will stay in my head til I’m gone, til I’m gone

oh I think about death most of the time
and when I get a break I worry why it fills my mind

Cold, chaotic snow outside, at stranger times each year
So many things to fight for, wish I could stop just sitting here

and when you think the goal’s control over the thoughts controlling you
you know you missed the point but sometimes you just can’t see through

and when you can’t feel a thing outside of your own head
know you’re not the only one, no, know you’re not alone, I’ll be your friend

and when you can’t feel a thing outside of your own head
know you’re not the only one, no, know you’re not alone, I’ll be your friend

credits

from Chest of Drawers (EP), released April 7, 2017

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Dylan MacWilliams Minneapolis, Minnesota

Dylan MacWilliams (they/them), aka Leather Cohen, is a singer/songwriter living on occupied Dakota & Anishinaabe land.

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Chest of Drawers (EP) received 3.3/5 stars from an indie music review site. Read the full review here: tinyurl.com/y8gh9dv9
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